Seeing as the world has come to an end, here you are, just looking for a way to NOT die. Welcome to a Zombie Survivalist Expert's blog about....well surviving the apocalypse.
11 months ago | 1 note | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
Okay, here we go.
You and your highschool sweetheart paired up to fight this apocalypse together. Aww, how committed. Then one of you is stupid or careless, and get’s bit. Soon, you are going to change. Your partner can’t shoot you, starts crying, and bam he is bit too. His insides are now some zombie’s 58th meal today.
Look what happened because emotions. Now when someone changes, they aren’t them anymore. I am sure Tiffany loved Chad, she especially loved him for what was on the inside….meaning his guts. 
Remember zombies aren’t people. They don’t have emotions or memory, don’t trust a zombie just because it looks like someone you USED TO love. it’s not them anymore okay? So pull the trigger and shoot that gun. You can sulk later when it’s more safe.

Okay, here we go.

You and your highschool sweetheart paired up to fight this apocalypse together. Aww, how committed. Then one of you is stupid or careless, and get’s bit. Soon, you are going to change. Your partner can’t shoot you, starts crying, and bam he is bit too. His insides are now some zombie’s 58th meal today.

Look what happened because emotions. Now when someone changes, they aren’t them anymore. I am sure Tiffany loved Chad, she especially loved him for what was on the inside….meaning his guts. 

Remember zombies aren’t people. They don’t have emotions or memory, don’t trust a zombie just because it looks like someone you USED TO love. it’s not them anymore okay? So pull the trigger and shoot that gun. You can sulk later when it’s more safe.

11 months ago | Reblog
aidohannabusa sent: I wanna know can the undead dead be funny like medea funny?

Depends what you mean by that.

Obviously we are going to get some small laughs out of zombies, let’s face it. They are dead, they lack common sense. One of em is gonna walk into a door, and you will giggle, one will face plant, that is always funny. Intentionally comical? Probably not.

It will be the stupid mindless stuff they do, that makes you stop, forget your life is at stake, let out a chuckle, and continue on. 

11 months ago | Reblog
Anonymous sent: What do you feel about axes as weapons? Yay or Nay?

Axes are a yay if you are capable of actually using it. Maybe it’s too heavy for you? or you just aren’t okay with the whole close and personal deal, due to an axe being more of a close range weapon. Take into consideration how close you may have to be, and think about the blood, you’ll be close enough to see it. AND If you can’t make a clean cut probably because the axe is too heavy for you or you can’t properly use it   there will be quite a mess.

Think about this before you select an axe as your strife specibus. 

11 months ago | 70 notes | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
The Worst Phobias To Have During The Zombie Apocalypse:
Achluophobia: Fear of darkness- this is just really inconvient in any case, but we can’t be attempting a night run you shouldn’t be attempting a night run unless you need to actually  and have you pissing your pants in the back cause you don’t like the darkness
Acrophobia: Fear of heights - high places are amazing when it comes to zombies….unless you are more afraid of the height than you are of having your face ripped off and devoured 
Agliophobia: Fear of pain - Do I have to explain this one?
Agoraphobia: Fear of leaving a safe place - No where will be safe once the virus starts to spread, so this is a big problemo.
Ambulophobia: Fear of walking - though walking is one of the most dangerous ways of moving during Z-Day, it can be the safest. Little to no noise if you know how to walk that way, you don’t need gas, maybe a few rest breaks here and there, but damn if you are afraid of walking then we’ve met an obstacle
Automysophobia: Fear of being dirty - showers won’t be a first priority thing anymore. Get used to being dirty.
Bacteriophobia: Fear of bacteria - Zombie virus ….Have fun with that
Ballistophobia: Fear of missiles or bullets- bullets are going to be used. You are going to be scared. This will be a stressful time for you
Claustrophobia: Fear of confined spaces - Small spaces are great for hiding….unless you start hyperventilating and give away your hidden secluded area. 
Decidophobia: Fear of making decisions - Sorry pal, you’re going to have to make a lot of these, and make them fast.
Enochlophobia: Fear of crowds - if hordes of people aren’t your cup of tea, hordes of zombies must be your cup of orange juice after you’ve brushed your teeth
Eosophobia: Fear of dawn or daylight - Best time to cover ground is day time, and I’ve got news for you, no one is waiting for you to be comfortable. Sorry. 
Hemophobia/Hemaphobia/Hematophobia: Fear of blood -Blood is everywhere. Soon it will be something you are used to seeing, so don’t worry about it too much. ((Or you will pass out at the sight of it, and be unconscious most of the time))
Hoplophobia: Fear of firearms - I already feel so bad for you.
Hypengyophobia/Hypegiaphobia: Fear of responsibility - I fully understand this BUT you have to man up for yourself or for your group. If not you, make sure someone else does ((sorry to give you the responsibility of making sure at least one person is responsible))
Molysmophobia/Molysomophobia: Fear of dirt or contamination - again, Zombie virus, contamination, germs….you get it now don’t you?
Necrophobia: Fear of death or dead things - Well commonly referred to as the undead dead, just focus on the UNDEAD part and you should be fine.
Pantophobia: Fear of everything - No, not the fear of pants, the fear of everything….including pants….. well you could see how this phobia is just horrible to have.
Phagophobia: Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten- Well, if you stay smart and stay alert, then you won’t be eaten. Let that be a warning. 
Pharmacophobia: Fear of taking medicine- You can get hurt or sick, and just because there are a bunch of brain eaters walking around doesn’t mean you don’t have to take your medicine. Take it. It’s better in the long run.
Seplophobia: Fear of decaying matter - What are zombies? the undead dead….They are decaying, honey. Get over it. 
 There were many more that were inconvenient but these were just the ones that seemed more important. 

The Worst Phobias To Have During The Zombie Apocalypse:

 There were many more that were inconvenient but these were just the ones that seemed more important. 

11 months ago | 15 notes | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
Playlists can honestly be the difference between life and death. We all know a good song can put us in the perfect mood, whether that means sexually or that means bashing a few heads in. Now we don’t want Taylor Swift screeching in our ears about how she is 22 when you are trying to decapitate someone unless that does indeed put you in a killing mood, go ahead, but for others, prepare an appropriate playlist beforehand. 

Playlists can honestly be the difference between life and death. We all know a good song can put us in the perfect mood, whether that means sexually or that means bashing a few heads in. Now we don’t want Taylor Swift screeching in our ears about how she is 22 when you are trying to decapitate someone unless that does indeed put you in a killing mood, go ahead, but for others, prepare an appropriate playlist beforehand. 

11 months ago | 2 notes | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
Sorry, caviar isn’t available during these times. Depending on if you pack or find canned food, maybe you will be eating a little bit better but they will only last a varied amount of time, depending on how big of a group or how big of an appetite you have. Don’t be picky and high maintenance, because your next course could be a wild animal’s insides.

Sorry, caviar isn’t available during these times. Depending on if you pack or find canned food, maybe you will be eating a little bit better but they will only last a varied amount of time, depending on how big of a group or how big of an appetite you have. Don’t be picky and high maintenance, because your next course could be a wild animal’s insides.

11 months ago | Reblog
Anonymous sent: nononoNONONONOno no nononono do not us e a katana unless u know what you're doing and you actually know how to use 1 (as in training n shit) cause they will literally snap in half if you don't

Ah yes, should have mentioned that huh? I mean personally, friend. Which I have had some minor training with katanas and other swords so yes, you want to know what you are doing with your weapon actually.

I assumed most people would know that

11 months ago | 1 note | Reblog
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zombie
undead survival 101
zombie survival
Weapons:
My favorite far distance weapon? Cross bow!
Near distance? Swords, like katanas or machetes. 
Though many weapons would work, I believe the worst and last resort weapons are guns. Not only are they horrible due to noise, but ammo is a bitch and reloading takes time usually. Guns and chainsaws are absolutely last resort in my opinion

Weapons:

My favorite far distance weapon? Cross bow!

Near distance? Swords, like katanas or machetes. 

Though many weapons would work, I believe the worst and last resort weapons are guns. Not only are they horrible due to noise, but ammo is a bitch and reloading takes time usually. Guns and chainsaws are absolutely last resort in my opinion

11 months ago | 3 notes | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
Now, let’s be brutally honest, you can’t phone your mum because when she was living she barely understood her phone. Most likely being dead now, your mum doesn’t care to understand her phone. BUT cell phones are a great way to keep in contact with your group via text walkie talkies make too much noise and are childish  but forget to turn your phone on vibrate? You are in some trouble there.

Now, let’s be brutally honest, you can’t phone your mum because when she was living she barely understood her phone. Most likely being dead now, your mum doesn’t care to understand her phone. BUT cell phones are a great way to keep in contact with your group via text walkie talkies make too much noise and are childish  but forget to turn your phone on vibrate? You are in some trouble there.

11 months ago | 32 notes | Reblog
Tags:
undead survival 101
zombie
zombie survival
Shorter hair is preferable, as it lessens the chances of you being grabbed or getting stuck on something. Plus it is just a lot easier to manage and won’t take up any time, styling wise.

Shorter hair is preferable, as it lessens the chances of you being grabbed or getting stuck on something. Plus it is just a lot easier to manage and won’t take up any time, styling wise.